Girl: Ms. Y, St. Patrick is a real person?
Me: Yes, St. Patrick is a saint, we celebrate him on March 17th.
Girl: Oh I always just thought he was a Leper.
Girl: Is the Surgeon General Real?
Boy: No, dumby. It's a commercial.
Girl: I'm tired.
Me: Why are you so tired?
Girl: Because I had lotsa dreams last night. And when you dream you watch them and you don't sleep. It's like TV. But scarier.
Girl: He's white like Michael Jackson, except Michael Jackson Cloroxed his skin.
Boy: I can't believe you just said that. Michael Jackson had a disease and that's why he looked like that.
(During a game to review historical females for Women's History Month:)
Teacher: This woman was the first female African-American Secretary of State.
Girl: CoCo Chanel!
And this is why I come home every day overly exhausted yet questionably happy.