Fear of the Assigned

What once was my best friend has transformed into my most feared enemy.

I have always been obsessed with list making and scheduling. Subsequently, I became obsessed with seeking out the perfect agenda year after year.

This year, I settled on the perfect little black (agenda) book in which I wrote ev.er.y.thing: 

assignment due dates, upcoming tests, scheduled work-outs, time frames for laundry days, birthdays, phone numbers, grocery lists... you get the point.

As of recently, however, I have been terrified to even open that little black book of mine. The once half-filled, neatly color coded pages are now cluttered sheets of ceaseless assignments and looming due dates in permanent black ink. 

I'm afraid that if I open my planner, a new assignment will surge off of the paper to be the final assault in my student teaching demise.  

I know I can't possibly be the only one living in fear of the assigned. Right?!

There are only two short weeks left of method assignment stress and project due dates before winter break.  With the grace of God and Caffeine on my side, I will persevere and make it out of these last two weeks alive.  

Who's with me? 

The One with the Fastest 10 Days of My Life

It feels like it has been forever since I last blogged, and for that I apologize.  Life has gotten in the way of my writing and after a ten day vacation (?) at home for Thanksgiving I think I've finally caught my breath long enough to share some of the goings-on in my life as of recent. 

Football, Food, Family, Friends, Food... in that order. 

Had to try two of the 900 cookie recipes I pinned from Pinterest this break. One of the recipes turned out delicious, the other, not so much. I'll be sure to post a review in the near future, but for now, How darn cute is my sous chef?!?!  I got to visit my precious girls whom I have been babysitting since this little first grader was an infant.  They need to stop growing. But we had a blast baking (and eating) lots of Nutella cookies! 

Thanksgiving Eve I participated in the requisite High School Reunion at the local bars. The night was a blast; two bars, a whole lot of reunions and two broken glasses later, I was ready for my Turkey the next morning.... to say the least. 

This Thanksgiving was a chaotic as usual with my huge extended family, but I wouldn't have changed a thing. I made sure to wear a dress so I could eat as much as I wanted, and ate I did.  We played games, watched football, and listened to Uncle Bob sing and play his guitar. Always a treat :) Did I ever mention I love Thanksgiving?

This year we had family that I hadn't seen in a few years come down from New Hampshire to join us for the weekend. It was really nice to visit with them and catch up, and even nicer to meet this handsome little man! Meet my one-year-old cousin, Kaleb. 

Hope you all had a wonderful week with lots to be thankful for.

Now it's back to the regular grind... two more weeks of stressful school work and then Christmas break! Can I get a Hallelujah?!! 

Thankful

Truth be told, I am a very sentimental person. I cherish traditions incredibly, and for this reason I think Thanksgiving is one of my very favorite holidays.  Traditions are strong in my family; we eat the same food, go to the same house, even play the same games simply because "we did it last year."


My favorite is absolutely one that my mother introduced quite a few years ago at our farm house (the traditional Thanksgiving locale prior to my grandfather getting sick.)  She pulled out a white table cloth for dinner that afternoon, and told us by the end of dessert we all had to write down one thing we are thankful for, sign it, and put the year.  

I was thankful for "my family and electricity" in 1998 (age 8)

My sister was apparently thankful for "The Pilgrims" in 1998 (age 6) 

"Never stand under the stars and complain about the lack of bright moments in your life"- Aunt Kimberly 2001

"I am thankful for my wonderful family,...for all the fun we have on Thanksgiving! Also, when the kids play outside and don't bother the adults." -Aunt Kathy 2001
PS- She wrote "I look forward to seeing what Maggie writes next year!" This is the year I wrote I was thankful that "my dad was on a diet so he didn't eat all the food." Sorry Dad!

In 2010 I guess we grew up a little bit... Kaylynn said she was thankful our oldest cousin finally stopped picking on her. (age 14)

C was thankful for his health last year, as was I :) 

Maybe this year I'll be thankful that Steven is still in school. Apparently he can't count .. Hey Steve, last year was 2010. 

Today the table cloth has multiplied and we now have two cloths and a runner bearing our blessings and thanks from every year etched forever in permanent marker. No one ever grumbles or groans anymore when Mom sets out the fabric markers during dessert, because reading our "I am Thankful for's" the following year is something we look forward to perpetually.  


I hate thinking about the fact that we are all growing older, Billy is engaged to be married, three of us are in college preparing for the rest of our lives, and holidays are beginning to change a little bit as our family grows and extends. Even if things can't stay the same, if not all twenty of us can come to my mom's house for Thanksgiving dinner, if we can't all fit in the kitchen to play Scattergories after dessert, at least we have our memories and this tradition to carry on no matter where we are during the holidays.  


There are countless things that I am thankful for, but believe it or not, I still haven't come up with something to write down on this year's table cloth.  It has been an interesting year (to say the least) and with so many blessings (although sometimes in disguise) it is hard to just pick one thing to encompass my thanks for an entire year.  I am thankful for the support my parents give me in everything I do, for my boyfriend who motivates me to be a better person, for my girlfriends who never cease to make me laugh even on the worst of days, for the opportunity to student teach and excel in my passion for education, for my bed at the end of an exhausting day, for my computer with which I can write and blog, and for so many more blessings I can't even put into words.  I'll be sure to report back with what I decide to write in permanent marker to remember for years to come...

Maybe this year I'll revert back to my thanks in 1999 (age 9) - "I am thankful for everything I have..." 

What are you thankful for this year?

Blog-tastic.

Sweet, sweet Kate at Stripes and Polka Dots awarded me with the Liebster Award. I love reading Kate's blog and I hope you all go check her out!  This award made my day, thanks again Ms. Kate! xo

Liebster means "favorite" or "dearest" in German.  This award, which originated in Germany, recognizes up and coming bloggers!  In accepting this award, I agree to:

• Thank the person who gave me the award and link back to their blog
• Copy and paste the award to my blog
• Reveal the 5 blogs I have chosen to award and let them know by commenting on their blogs
• Pay it forward to 5 blogs

Whenever the holidays come around, I am reminded that I love giving way more than receiving. There is something about watching a person open a new gift that is makes me feel so happy.  Thus, I am ecstatic to be able to pass on the award to five well-deserving bloggers. There are so many blogs I read, and so many readers to choose from, but I narrowed it down to five of my fav up-and-coming bloggers who I appreciate not only for writing awesome blogs, but also for sending sweet comments my way. You go girls :) 

1. Sarah @ Simply Sarah

2. Donna @ Lip Gloss & Flip Flops

3. Stephanie @ Living with Intention

4. Miranda @ Aimless Translation

5. And of course, a real life BFF, my girl Ashie @ Ashley's Heart of Life

PS - These ladies have also contributed to this blog's 50+ followers!!  A year ago when I started this journal for friends and family to follow me abroad, I never would have thought I would be making blog friends or having strangers want to read my random musings. Trust me, I would keep writing even if no one was reading, but the fact that you all support me makes it that much more rewarding :) Thanks a million xoxoxo

The End of an Era?

Since sophomore year of high school I have looked forward to the weekends, sitting on cold metal bleachers, sporting #50, or more recently, #49 across my back, cheering on my favorite football player until my throat was sore.  In high school I looked forward to sitting under the Friday night lights, cheering on number 50, all the while praying my high school crush stayed injury-free for the entire night so we could enjoy our weekly post-game trip to the diner.  

Senior Yr HS '08 

C's Groupies @ Snapple Bowl '08 

Freshman year @ MU

Sophomore year @ MU

Junior year @ MU

Senior year @ Villanova


(For the record, we didn't take a picture at the actual last game of the season. He claims we have too many that look exactly the same.  Point taken, but I still don't care how many of these we have!)

Seven years later, a senior in college,  I found myself teary-eyed in the Monmouth University stands as I heard #49 called out onto the field to be recognized as a Senior; hearing his name called over the sound system made the end of an era of collegiate football games that much more real.  

It is not certain that C walked out onto the turf for the last time on Saturday, as he is eligible for a 5th year of representing Monmouth University Athletics.  However, he has not yet made a decision about whether or not he wants to go through another physically tolling season of the sport that has defined the last 16 years of his life with hard work, determination, sweat, teamwork (and concussions.)

Maybe it's the uncertainty of what is to come that has my stomach in knots still... 2 days later.  

I always liked knowing that every Saturday I had something to look forward to, that if one week's game went wrong, there was always next week - or next season. I appreciated knowing that my boyfriend's dedication to the year-round challenges being a student-athlete would inspire me to work hard and motivate me to do my best. I fell in love with the sound of the never perfect, but always spirited, college marching band. I looked forward to the blue and white pom-poms I collected at every game but never remembered to bring the following week. I even stocked my closet in accordance to my beau's team colors. In high school it was red, which was nice as I moved forward into UMD where I could continue to wear red proudly.  Since 2008, however, I've been steadily collecting as much blue and white as I could get my hands on.  Looks like I'll be wearing a lot of blue from now on, even if C won't be.  

It is his decision to make, but I can't help but selfishly think of all the reasons I hope he continues to play. I'm not yet ready to be rid of Saturday games that hold so much meaning. Not to mention the way a pair of tight football pants so wonderfully enhances a defensive end's rear end ;)  (As C would say, "hey, it was lookin at me.")

Who doesn't love a man in uniform ;) 

Whether C decides to come back for another season or to end on a high note (with the second most tackles on the team against Wagner thank you very much) I will never forget the seven seasons of weekends revolving around football.  I am thankful for the excitement each weekend held, wins and losses, and for the amazingly dedicated man #49 has become in part due to this incredibly demanding sport.  He definitely loves this game more than most things, and I was fine being second to football for seven years; I truly believe it has made him who he is today: strong, motivated, and disciplined. Even if he laced up his cleats for the last time on Saturday, these are qualities that will last a lifetime, and Lord knows I will cherish the memories forever. 

All good things must come to an end, anyway. Right? 

Love this one - all his roommates/ the best of the D-Line :) 

Love you, Chris.  

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Haven't linked up with Jamie in a while ... thought I'd share with you guys what I'm loving this Wednesday. 


I'm Loving...

... that the "Hunger Games" is coming out with a line of nail polish. 

 I can't imagine Katniss Everdeen had manicured nails, but if she did I would want mine to look exactly the same.  

--- 
... that the oh so sweet Kristen @ Joyful Ramblings hosted a blog giveaway...and I WON!! I can't wait to receive the vera bradley apron and recipe box she is so generously sending me! Thanks again Kristen xo 

---

... my sixth graders. They could make me laugh for days.  This week I received a letter from one of my boys telling me about his experience as a sixth grader thus far.  One of my favorite highlights from the letter:

 "I have had a longgg journey pre-k to 5th.  Here I am in sixth grade, struggling to make it to seventh grade."

Sorry you've had it so tough in your eleven years, kiddo. Gotta love it.  

--- 

... my Yellow Roomers.  No one can argue that they are the damned cutest kids in this world. One of my little ones requested I call her "Princess Popsicle" from now on. Because she "loves popsicles and cupcakes and cake," and why not? 

---
...BodyPump80 was just released and is currently in my possession! I finally mastered 79, now I need to memorize 80 to start teaching in January .. woot woot

Hoping to look like this one day? Maybe? Please?

---

... that there are only two more days until I return to NJ to see this boy 

<3 

and that in two days I will officially be in NJ for all of Thanksgiving week.  Now that is something to be thankful for.  

(Inconsequential) Reflections

My coffee was blacker than black this morning and I'm ready for a full week of teaching 6th grade.  I'm not sure why I have a compulsive tendency to brew my coffee entirely too strong. Perhaps for the same reasons I always over scramble my eggs: nerves and overcompensation. 

And for this precise reason, God created the K-Cup. 

Last night I laid out out the clothes I wanted to wear today. I took the brown pinstripe pants and coral sweater off my chair and got dressed at approximately 6:10.  At 6:53, two minutes before I had to be out the door, I slipped out of my fuzzy slippers and into matching shoes.  The shoes that matched beautifully but to my surprise were too low for the hem of my pants, and I found myself in a fashion dilemma.  With no time to change, I walked out of the apartment with brown pants, black heels, an aura of shame, and discomfort.  

One of my students broke down in tears mid-division-lesson.  Turns out, his tears were the result of a warning he received just moments earlier for talking during class.  My heart ached for his saddened, swollen puppy dog eyes as I offered him my tissue box.  ...And then I remembered that this is sixth grade and, hello, we don't cry over warnings. Fortunately, my Goody Two Shoes student stopped sniffling by recess and all is good again in Room 13.  

Along with appropriate shoes, my planner was left behind this morning.  I felt lost and confused, and a little bit lonely because I had never been away from my agenda for too long.  

At least we are one day closer to Friday.  Hallelujah.